Sample Ritual for Coming-of-Age
We don't yet
have a clear consensus identifying the threshold into adulthood. Here
is a
ritual based on one possibility, and on the assumption that the
candidate is on
relatively good terms with his or her parents. The theme of the ritual
is
changing the parent/child relationship from one of dependency to one of
loving
equality. If the Candidate is
establishing an independent household,
that's where the Circle takes place. In any case, use the Candidate's
own
things on the altar, as much as possible. All consumables — ritual
food and
beverage, candles, incense,
etc. should be provided by the Candidate, and all should be the best
the
Candidate can afford. Anything the Candidate has the skill to
personally make
should be the Candidate's own work. The Candidate should also
provide gifts for her or his
parents, something small but very nice, and requiring thought and care
in its
selection, home-made if at all possible. Others present should be
relatives representing both
generations of this family, and close friends of both generations. Creating sacred space Circle is cast by Candidate's
primary lover or best friend.
Guests may be in Circle as it is being cast or enter later, depending
on local
custom, but Candidate and parents wait outside. Officiant may explain
to guests
that they are gathered to bear witness as Candidate assumes the full
powers and
responsibilities of an adult. At a prearranged signal, e.g. the sound
of a
bell, Candidate and parents approach the Circle. Officiant greets them at
perimeter of Circle, asks them what
they seek. Parents (either one): We bring our
child, who is ready today to become an adult. Officiant: You have long watched over
this
child. Are you now ready to release him/her from the constraints and
the
protections of childhood? Parents: (answer
in own words) If the answer is affirmative,
the Officiant cuts a gate in the
Circle and invites the Parents and the Candidate in. Officiant
(to Candidate): Before you can be ready to leave your parents’
protection, give thanks to them for bringing you to this point. Candidate thanks Parents in
own words and in specifics for
their material and emotional support throughout childhood and
adolescence. Parents acknowledge thanks,
offer any final words of advice Officiant: (to Candidate)
From this day forward, are you ready, willing and
able to meet your own material needs in this world by the work of your
own
hands and mind? Candidate: (respond
in own words) If Candidate
will continue to live in parents’ home, use this portion of the
rite: Officiant: (to Candidate)
Will you become a full
partner now in this household, assuming a full partner's share of the
expenses
and the work of this home? Candidate: (respond in own
words) Officiant: (to parents)
Will you accept (Candidate's
name) as a full partner in this household, allowing him/her a full
partner's
share in the making of decisions. Parents: (respond in own
words) Officiant: Although a child may grow to
adulthood and claim her/his independence, the love bonds of a family
are
lifelong. The questions The following
questions are addressed by Officiant to Parents and Candidate: Will you share your resources
in the event of emergency
or incapacity? Will you share your insight
and wisdom as requested? Will you thoughtfully consider
what insight and wisdom
s/he offers you? Will you continue to have fun
together? (other commitments
may be added by mutual agreement in advance of the ritual. For this
ritual, we strongly suggest that only mutual commitments be made.) Follow this portion of the
rite with the performance of
appropriate poetry or music (perhaps George Gershwin’s
Summertime from Porgy and Bess) - or any
of the guests may be moved to say
something The blessing Officiant: Parents, will you now give
your
blessing to the new adult? Parents: (both
give blessing to the Candidate in their
own words) Officiant begins talking stick
round, encouraging blessing or
good wish from all in Circle, then ends with: May there
ever be friendship and love between you. (Candidate's name), I give you
charge
of this Circle and wish you all good things! The collegial feast Candidate blesses and shares
food with the people. When all
are comfortably seated and eating, the Candidate present gifts to the
Parents
with an explanation of why each one was chosen. When the time seems right, the
Candidate closes Circle. |